Thursday, January 1, 2009

2009 IS IN...WHAT IS FOR ME???

Today is the 1st of January 2009! Everyone is in the new year mood..the Awal Muharram and this 2009 new year thing! So what is new year to me? Will it still be the same old years like the pasts? This year would definitely be more work load to take up, no more students knocking on the office door, no more preparing the PowerPoint presentations, no more attending meetings and meetings and meetings at the early semester, no more rearranging students' class schedules, no more rushing for god knows what is due?!
It is all about myself, the kids, the hubby and the chores, kids, house chores and kids!
Since today is the first day of 2009, I want to make sure that I write something to welcome the hope to be a wonderful year for me and my family. The year that eventually will bring us some changes in what we've been doing, places that we've been visiting, people that we've been meeting, food that we've been eating! and what not.
The preparation that my husband and I've been doing for us to be with him in Saudi has been going well, Alhamdulillah. We are waiting for February 2009 to come as the process hope to be completed by then and we will be there at Saudi together as a family again. Excitement, overwhelm, joy, curious, afraid, happy, fear and all other mixed feelings are inside of me. Even though Haswadi has seldom inform me of his life at Saudi, the places he's been going, foods he's been eating and people he's been meeting yet I am not sure what really am I expecting myself. All I wish for is that ALLAH will show the strong side of of me to face the days to come.
I also hope that in 2009 and the years to come will make me a better wife, a partner, a companion, best friend and another half to Haswadi. Being apart from him for some time now has really taught me to be more patient and cool. I hope these attitude would stay that way when we are together again. Being the 'unromantic couple' and it has been going for 8 years now, I don't find anything wrong with the relationship.
The only thing that could effect the relationship is always about us being ourselves individually...selfishness, egoistic, self-worthy and other types of personality that will lead to dissatisfaction in the relationship. Even we did quarrel and met with few misunderstanding, Alhamdulillah there have been always resolutions to them. Either it was from me or from Haswadi...or from being silence and patience!

As a mother to my children, I pray that ALLAH sends HIS fortune and make me a better ummi or even the best ummi to my children. As I am acting as a full time mother for now and for years coming, I will make sure that I do that 'job' really well. I used to be really good at my work previously...but as a homemaker now, I should be doing it even better! This is my life...being with my husband and children. I have no regret that I have to let go off my work, my position, my wonderful students...because I am pretty sure there must be 'hikmah' behind all these. And hopefully I could come back one day and serve for more!

Fine, I can drag myself on and on about this, however, roughly these are what a 'blissful aspiration' that I have in 2009! I should have more than this...still composing some of it...too many may be a burden...too little may not be challenging...still have a few things more...